Chickens crossing the road ...

Win 98 Chicken:
Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

NT Chicken:
Secures the road first, and then lets every other chicken cross it anyway.

Win 95 Chicken:
Always the biggest chickens because they're chock full of bugs. These chickens are regarded as complete perverts because they've got Active XXX on their minds constantly. Whilst crossing the road, a Win95 chicken explores any nets lying around and insists on every other chicken doing this its way also. Only chickens that can net escape don't have to - usually because they're too fast to catch. Furthermore, when crossing the road, they will spend considerable time thinking as to the shortest route to cross the road by, and then leave all these shortcuts for every other chicken to follow. Win95 chickens are always the slowest to wake up and put to sleep. Most have degrees in geology and seismology, specialising in general protection faults. You'll never be too far from a Win95 chicken because they pop up when you least expect them to.

Microsoft Chicken:
It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

OS/2 Chicken:
It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

OOP Chicken:
It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

Assembler Chicken:
First it builds the road ...

C Chicken:
It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken:
The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

ADA Chicken
It crosses the road after it ensures the road is the same type to other roads it has previously crossed.

VB Chicken:
Dim aChicken
USEHighways!TheRoad.cross (aChicken)

Delphi Chicken:
The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

Java Chicken:
If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets)

Web Chicken:
Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Gopher Chicken:
Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Newton Chicken:
Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

Cray Chicken:
Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Quantum Logic Chicken:
The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course.

Lotus Chicken:
Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way we do !

Mac Chicken:
No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

COBOL Chicken:
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING. IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE ELSE GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

Unix Chicken:
Spawns chicks that cross the road for it.

MS-DOS Chicken:
No chicken will ever need to go to the other side of the road.

Windows 3.1 chicken:
Tells everybody how good it's going to be on the other side and then crashes whilst blindly running across.

And here's some sent to me by Joao P. Carvalhinho - thanks buddy!!

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER
To get to the other side.

PLATO
For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES
Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ARTHUR ANDERSEN CONSULTANT
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management frame work. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analyst sand best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skill sin the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES
And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which willnot only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book.

OLIVER STONE
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON
The chicken did not cross the road ... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?

If you know of any other chickens, do let me know and I'll pop them up here.